Assume the Perpendicular

Tonight begins Phase 2 of our co-sleeping arrangements. I finally ordered a bed rail to replace our Arm’s Reach Co-Sleeper bassinet. The bassinet was only supposed to last until Eleanor was 5 months old, but we kept using it beyond the recommended age. Since Eleanor slept swaddled until just a few weeks ago, I wasn’t worried about her trying to climb out of it. Plus, the second she woke up in it she started crying and I picked her up. After we ditched the swaddle we decided it was officially time to figure something else out, and the bed rail was purchased.

I’m really going to miss this bassinet. Eleanor only slept in it for an hour or so at a time, usually just while we watched a movie or engaged in special Mommy/Daddy time, if you know what I mean (of course you know what I mean), but it was really nice to have that bit of time to ourselves. Now I don’t know what we will do. We’ve tried a few times to put her to sleep in her crib, but with only limited success. That would be the ideal situation, for her to sleep that first hour or so in her own room, but I really don’t want bedtime to become an issue, and there is a part of me that is still really uncomfortable with the idea of her waking up alone. What we do is so easy right now, it’s hard to think of changing our routine. If it were up to me I’d probably sidecar her crib but Andrew is totally against that idea. 

I’m trying to not get overly emotion about this change, but it’s hard. We set up the bassinet in our room weeks before her arrival, and I would stare at it, trying so hard to imagine what her little body would look like in it. One of the last things we did before we left for the hospital was to install it next to the bed. I remember so vividly shooting it one last look before we left the apartment, knowing that it would soon hold her. Then that first night we came home and we laid her in it for the first time I remember being shocked at how tiny she looked it in. Now her body takes up the entire thing. 

I took a picture of it this morning before uninstalling it. I will really miss the way our room looks with the bassinet in it, and I will miss it being a reminder of my pregnancy and Eleanor’s newborn days, and all of those nights that I gazed at my sleeping baby there, watching her chest rise and fall.