Assume the Perpendicular

teeth #5 and #6 are both through (top lateral incisors). 

As a parent, I’ve found that I often experience small moments that are so simple and lovely that I hope I can somehow lock them away in my memory forever. They are the kind that take place in the midst of a very ordinary day, often while doing very ordinary things, but they catch you off guard with their sweetness and make you think, “This is it. This is what life is all about.” I had one of these moments today.

We walk along a lake on our way to and from Baby Bounce at the library. Eleanor usually naps on the way home. She was sleepy and acting hungry, so I decided to stop and nurse her at one of the many benches along the lakefront path. I didn’t have a nursing cover with me, and sometimes if I don’t use a cover she gets too distracted by the world around her to actually eat, but she was tired enough to latch right on. She closed her eyes soon after and drifted off to sleep. We sat there for a while. It was cool, breezy, and overcast. I watched the reflections of trees from the park ripple on the water. Gulls were crying. Two coots were chasing each other here and there. I held her close to me and felt the warmth of her cheek against my breast. She slept so still and I was completely overcome with a sense of perfect peace. I hope I never forget that feeling, there in that quiet little moment. 

Tonight begins Phase 2 of our co-sleeping arrangements. I finally ordered a bed rail to replace our Arm’s Reach Co-Sleeper bassinet. The bassinet was only supposed to last until Eleanor was 5 months old, but we kept using it beyond the recommended age. Since Eleanor slept swaddled until just a few weeks ago, I wasn’t worried about her trying to climb out of it. Plus, the second she woke up in it she started crying and I picked her up. After we ditched the swaddle we decided it was officially time to figure something else out, and the bed rail was purchased.

I’m really going to miss this bassinet. Eleanor only slept in it for an hour or so at a time, usually just while we watched a movie or engaged in special Mommy/Daddy time, if you know what I mean (of course you know what I mean), but it was really nice to have that bit of time to ourselves. Now I don’t know what we will do. We’ve tried a few times to put her to sleep in her crib, but with only limited success. That would be the ideal situation, for her to sleep that first hour or so in her own room, but I really don’t want bedtime to become an issue, and there is a part of me that is still really uncomfortable with the idea of her waking up alone. What we do is so easy right now, it’s hard to think of changing our routine. If it were up to me I’d probably sidecar her crib but Andrew is totally against that idea. 

I’m trying to not get overly emotion about this change, but it’s hard. We set up the bassinet in our room weeks before her arrival, and I would stare at it, trying so hard to imagine what her little body would look like in it. One of the last things we did before we left for the hospital was to install it next to the bed. I remember so vividly shooting it one last look before we left the apartment, knowing that it would soon hold her. Then that first night we came home and we laid her in it for the first time I remember being shocked at how tiny she looked it in. Now her body takes up the entire thing. 

I took a picture of it this morning before uninstalling it. I will really miss the way our room looks with the bassinet in it, and I will miss it being a reminder of my pregnancy and Eleanor’s newborn days, and all of those nights that I gazed at my sleeping baby there, watching her chest rise and fall.

Trigger warning:* This post is about poop.

I’m an eternal fan of cloth diapering, but I have to admit, it gets way, way more gross once solid foods enter the picture. You always hear cloth diapering mom’s going on and on about how cloth diapers are really just as easy and mess free as disposables, and its totally true when the baby is breastfed, but when it comes to that awful sticky poop that starts occurring after introducing solid foods, disposables win hands down. 

There are ways to make it easier to deal with these no-longer-exclusively-breastfed poops, like liners and diaper sprayers, but they don’t really compensate for the mess. The liners will catch some of it, if you feel inclined to take the extra step of stuffing them in along with your inserts, which honestly I don’t usually do, but you’ll probably still need to rinse or spray the diapers. Diaper sprayers are supposed to be awesome, but it can be tricky to find the right amount of pressure. If it’s down too low, it won’t get the job done. If it’s up too high or if you don’t angle it just right, poopy water will shoot off of the diaper and spray all over your floors and walls and sink. And you will definitely get it on your hands.

Regardless of the precautions taken, each poopy diaper these days requires at least a 5 minute clean up effort and a vigorous hand scrubbing afterward. Luckily for me Eleanor only makes a #2 every other day or every third day now that she’s older. I’m hoping things might get less gross when her poop solidifies more, but for now, and for the last few months, each diaper has been an ordeal. Obviously it’s not enough to make me stop using cloth, but I have to roll my eyes when I come across a cloth mamma extolling the virtues of fluff and absolutely denying that you will have to deal with more mess. 

Before the baby: Putting on some music and taking a nice, long, super hot bubble bath in the evening.

After the baby: Putting on some music and doing the dishes while my husband gives the baby a bath in the evening.